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31 August
Memphis Mah-feeYa Movie Review: ("Dukes of Hazard")
Yeah, I seen it, ........what of it?!?! Hey, it was free man, I had two passes - what a ya gonna do? Actually it wasn't half bad, good for a laugh, a head shake and knee slap or two anyway. I still lust after............that orange Dode Charger (...huh?, yeah, you thought I was gonna say Daisy, didn't ya?) Speaking of Daisy, Ms. Simpson looked great! Sorry, wish I could insult her, but I can't. I wouldn't normally give her the sweat off my ear, but she was drop down bam jam rock'n looking in this flick. I couldn't help but say "damn!" several times when she was on the screen AND my wife was even sitting next to me - what's that tell ya? Even my wife was amazed at her. I gotta say Burt Reynolds is looking ANCIENT!!! Wow. He looks like something Indiana Jones digs around for. He's stretched his face with surgery so many times that it's tighter than a fat tick on a trampoline. He wasn't the funny, rolly polly, tubby Boss Hogg we're used to, but rather a mean and nasty ultra serious one. Made ya miss the bumbling 'Massuh Hogg' of days gone by. Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrain was a bitter, snarling mean ole cuss as well. No "Rosco-isms" like we're used to either, like the high pitched, giggly; "Good News....Good News!!" he used to pull when entering a room. There is a scene though that made me laugh harder than ever, it's when the Duke boys are in jail and they're visited by Hogg. There's this pimped out, gold toof, 'what up sh--' homey dancing behind them crazy Duke boys in the slammer and he's "diss'n" Boss Hogg and his white suit. Laughed myself leaky. That scene was almost worth $7.50 (but like I said, I had free passes.) There's also this societal uproar about the "rebel flag" still being on top of The General Lee car in this modern update of the classic, they even joke about it in the film. Our suck and sour faced communities are also in a tizzy about the use of 'sex' and symbols in the film. Give me a huge BREAK, people!!! Do you really expect a film about ultra moonshine runn'n rednecks from backwoods Georgia to be politically correct??!! Get this: rednecks ARE racist, sexist, rebellious, rowdy biggots, and certainly unlawful, ....that's what makes them REDNECKS!!! How do I say this nicely? .... DUH!!!! Do you really expect the ACLU bible and mantra to be preached AND displayed from a guy named "Cooter"?? Folks, you gotta expect some trash when the opening lyrics spout; "....been in trouble with the law since the day they was bawn!" Anyway, there's an all star supporting cast (mostly relics from the past) like: Willie Nelson, Jo Don Baker (of Walking Tall fame) and even Wonder Woman herself, Linda Hamilton as the Duke boy's aunt. Her salad days have passed, I tell ya. Whoa! It's a "wonder" she can even fit in them jeans. Hey Jenny Craig, Wonder Woman needs help!!! I will say this, the out-takes at the end are a riot AND certainly worth a nickle or two, and....FINALLY - after all these years they wrote something into this script that should have been done long ago (because everybody was thinking it anyway) at one point in the film law man Rosco, in a fury, intentionally mispronounces Enus's name and calls him "Anus." Now that's great script writing. Whatever.
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